The air in the Midwest has cycled into summer. It is
saturated with heat and humidity, which seems to mirror the heaviness I feel
most days here. The plains’ winds serve to blow the heat and dampness around,
but never shoo it all away.
In about a month I will have lived in Nebraska for a year. It is
also the time of year that will mark the third year of my sister’s passing. I still
haven’t floated by the day without thinking of her. I do wonder when the time
will come when I will look at the calendar and realize I hadn’t noticed that it was
June 29th. Not this year I suspect.
Right now, I am in the middle of the long summer session of
my school program. My days are saturated with homework. And those
pesky insects I call bumps in the road that I find more
than a nuisance. I still haven’t gotten used to this place that sets rules,
then breaks them, and then throws you around in the pieces for awhile. At least
I am not going to pieces. I am becoming someone other than the one who arrived
here last year.
During this season, I don’t have the sense of play, or the
sense of humor I know I have inside me somewhere. I hope when the air isn’t
weighing me down anymore, it will come back. I’m guessing it will, just as
winter will.